4th of May, my Birthday

Another Birthday has come and gone. I am two days in to my new year so I can talk about it. I cruised through the day in stealth mode. I had to work and I didn’t want them making a big deal out of it. I made it to the last hour and  some one got wind of it .  Well in all honesty, saying I didn’t want any attention didn’t mean I didn’t welcome it.

Sixty years old what can I say. I could say it doesn’t feel like it.  How can I say that when I don’t  know what sixty is supposed to feel like.  I am not a candidate for a rocking chair on the front porch. On the other hand it’s hard for me to be on top of my game all the time. I looking for a place somewhere towards the middle.

Every one says adolescence is the hardest phase growing up. I remember there were moments, but this growing old  has got it beat. Growing old is like growing up except in reverse. Like an old watch who’s  part are beginning  to wear time. Case in point there  is no stopping it. I can’t explain it It is nature’s way. Whether I accept it or not will not change the cycle of life. I can only speak for myself. It has taken me a long time to accept my human mortality.  In my youth there was no concept of aging and death.  There was only the there and then.Forever was one moment to the next. It wasn’t till early adulthood that I first experienced a close family member pass away.

I hope no one takes what I am saying here as morbid or depressing. That is not my intent. I feel compelled to share an area of my life that I have struggled with.  To overcome these fears is  giving me peace of mind.  I am a work in progress.  I can feel the release and the growing inner  peace. I have come to realize  it is normal for humans to fear the unknown. And to overcome fear it must be confronted , not ignored or denied.

If you have read through to this point  and you are beyond all this .  You’re a better one than me.  If you read this  and can relate, there is hope. And  if  you read this and you really don’t want to hear it It’s all B.S. Well maybe we will talk later. In closing I want to leave you with this thought. The cards have been dealt. Only a winner plays out his hand. Life in the now, live the Present.